A novel of love and monsters.
Sisters Esme, Katy, and Ronnie are smart, talented, and gorgeous, and better yet . . . all three are witches. They have high school wired until the arrival of two new students. The first is Norman, who is almost eight feet tall and appears to be constructed of bolts and mismatched body parts. Despite his intimidating looks, Esme finds herself strangely — almost romantically — drawn to both his oversized brain and oversized heart.
The second new arrival is Zack, an impossibly handsome late transfer from the UK who has the girls at school instantly mesmerized. Soon even sensible Esme has forgotten Norman, and all three sisters are in a flat-out hex war to win Zack. But while the magic is flying, only Norman seems to notice that students who wander off alone with Zack end up with crushed bones and memory loss. Or worse, missing entirely.
Hearts & Other Body Parts is a wickedly addictive novel about love, monsters, and loyalty. And oh yeah, a Japanese corpse-eating demon cat.
I grew up in Annapolis Maryland. My mother is an artist and my father was a judge on the Maryland Court of Special Appeals.
I studied English Literature at the University of Maryland, College Park. I also have some background in Eastern religions. After college I moved to Japan, where I taught ESL. I married a beautiful Japanese woman named Yasuko, moved to LA and taught junior high school English, ESL, and Japanese for the Los Angeles Unified School district. I am conversational in Japanese, but by no means consider myself fluent. After serving my debt to society in LA Unified, I went into the fashion business with my wife, who is a very talented fashion designer and is likely to read this, so I can’t say enough good things about her. We eventually branched into the vintage kimono business. I probably know more about Japanese textiles than any straight white man you’re likely to encounter. I’ve been writing humor for FUNNY TIMES since 2010. I currently live in West Sonoma County with my family and an assortment of furry beasts.
WHAT’S ON IRA’S DESK?
This is not only my desk for writing, it’s the desk in our office that I run our fashion business from. The system unit is covered by a cloth to hide the little sticky notes all over with the login and password information for all the corporations that no longer provide customer service via telephone because they’ve outsourced it all, though damned if I can log on to any of those websites even with the login info handy. Next to the computer, on the higher shelf are some reference books like Kipfer’s THE ORDER OF THINGS, Bartlet’s FAMILIAR QUOTATIONS, Random House WEBSTER’S DICTIONARY and Rosten’s THE JOYS OF YIDDISH. I rarely use them anymore; the internet is faster. Next to the books is the all-in-one machine we use mostly for our business: it scans, copies, faxes and prints, it dices it slices it sucks up ridiculously overpriced toner like a sponge. On the desk proper is a monitor. The wallpaper is a detail from a kimono we once owned. The little red-haired faeries are called shōjō, Japanese sea spirits with a fondness for saké. Bottom left of the monitor is a stack of folders containing scribblings and notes for about 8 novels I may or may not be working on, plus individual folders full of one-liners, blog-post ideas, short story ideas, novel ideas and ideas for humor articles. The Altoids tin is full of paper clips.
3 winners will receive a finished copy of HEARTS & OTHER BODY PARTS, US Only.
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